if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i out mim tonsoeep
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