tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
