After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize