I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
