he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
