Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
