man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
