It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize