i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
