I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You need a sexual gate keeper
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
