I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
