I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
