I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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