Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
