Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
