After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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