summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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