Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
