But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
