Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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