Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
