Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
