so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
