so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I need water and some morals
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
