like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
