Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
