Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
