Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
