why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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