ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
