I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
