I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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