Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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