I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
