Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
