I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
