I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just blew my weed a kiss
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
