It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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