How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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