Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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