And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize