talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
