i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
