i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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