At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
