we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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