I just pynch a tree in the face
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
