All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize