After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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