You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My dick has a subreddit
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
