My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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