party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize