just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
