how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
