we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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