So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize